Your Facebook Friends, For Real

facebook friendsIn the eight years since Facebook opened to the general public, how we use the site has changed. Most of us who go back and review our posts from the “early days” see somewhat inane philosophical commentary and updates on the mundane details of life. There are some, though, who haven’t quite figured out just how to use Facebook yet. We all know these people…

1- The Vaguebooker:

You know them – the people who simply post “Ugh, people are just so mean,” and wait for the responses of sympathy. Inevitably, there are some sympathetic posts in response from those working to convince the original poster that life will turn out just fine… all while having no clue what originally sparked the post. (Meanwhile, the original poster goes about their merry way and doesn’t respond to any of the sympathy. Because who has time for that?)

2- TMIers:

It’s weird. There are a lot of people I’m friends with on Facebook who wouldn’t reveal their innermost secrets to me in person, but have no problem sharing them with hundreds of friends (including me) on Facebook. Gross.

3- The Politician:

Basically, Facebook’s purpose – aside from all of our other friendly people outlined here – is to give you political and religious insights into everyone you walked by for four years in high school. You didn’t have those conversations with them then – but surprise, you get to now.

4- My Life Sucks:

It’s probably not as bad as you think it is.

5- My Life is So Awesome:

You’re probably not telling me the full story. But I like your vacation pictures. (Side note: back in the day, remember when people took pictures, had slides made and invited people over to watch their vacation slides?)

6- Everyone’s Always Sick in My House:

Thanks for the warning. I’ll bring the hand sanitizer and surgical mask next time I come over.

7- My Kids are Solving Cold Fusion:

Apparently mine haven’t quite evolved like yours have. I guess the world needs ditch diggers too.

8- I’ve Not Figured Out the Like Button Yet:

I can’t believe you visit those websites… and when you click “Like” there it shows on your profile. Oops. May want to rethink that.

If you know (and like) any of these people – it’s not too late… they can be helped.


Note: This post is a guest post from a member of our DMR Insider Community.

Photo credit: Ivy Dawned via flick

About Loren Foxx

Loren has held such positions as Vice President of Marketing and General Manager within the minor league baseball industry and now helps his clients achieve their business goals as an account director with @weduinc. A former CPA with Deloitte and Touche and a successful pharmaceutical sales representative with Eli Lilly and Company, Loren resides in northern New England.